"The secret to change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.
- Dan Millman, “Way of the Peaceful Warrior: A Book That Changes Lives”

People make resolutions to start off the New Year, such as dieting, giving up smoking, saving money and making more money. As we begin 2017, a common resolution on the minds of many is to get a divorce.

Oftentimes, this “resolution” was made earlier in the year, but there was a decision, or even a discussion, to not do anything until after the holidays. 

Making the decision to end your marriage is the first step.  Then, there is the actual process.  The next step is to get yourself organized.  If you have access to records regarding your assets, liabilities and income, get them.  You should photocopy them and keep them somewhere safe.  (The safest place is in the home of a friend or somewhere your spouse does not have access.)  If you do not have access to that information, do not panic.  You will be able to obtain the information during the divorce process.

After you are organized, get legal advice from an attorney in the area in which you live.  Do not rely on the advice of friends and family.  In particular, do not rely on information about divorces on the internet.  There is a lot of misinformation on the internet.  Divorces and their outcomes tend to vary from person to person based upon their circumstances.  Get advice tailored to your circumstances.

Lastly, be reminded that you are not the only one in your divorce.  It involves your spouse, your children, your in-laws, your friends and neighbors.  You will find yourself in unfamiliar territory.  However, if you remember that you are making this resolution for a reason, you will manage your divorce with dignity, and soon find yourself on the other side.

The decision to remarry is not made lightly.  Marrying a second time is oftentimes very different from a first marriage.  Parties involved in a second marriage are likely to have assets and children from a prior relationship.  Recalling the time, money and emotional energy spent during a divorce, friends and advisors might mention a prenuptial agreement.  A well-drafted prenuptial agreement can protect these hard-earned valuables.

Is a prenuptial agreement right for you?   It is if you want to avoid the aggravation and expense of litigating your future.  Protect yourself.

A prenuptial agreement is a contract between persons who plan to marry.  The agreement addresses how property is to be divided or the terms of support/alimony in the event of a divorce or the death of one of the parties.  Executing an agreement before being married in order to address what will occur in the event of divorce is not romantic, but it is smart. 

What can be expected?  What needs to be done?

Once it is decided that a prenuptial agreement is appropriate, the first step is to contact an attorney well in advance of a wedding date.  Presenting a prenuptial agreement to one’s fiancée on the eve of a wedding adds unnecessary pressure to an already stressful time.

Anticipate providing your attorney documentation of current assets, liabilities and sources of income.  To ensure that an agreement's validity cannot be challenged at later date, the parties must disclose their current financial status.  Prepare an outline of assets and liabilities and bring recent tax returns to your meeting to help make the process easier.