"The secret to change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.
- Dan Millman, “Way of the Peaceful Warrior: A Book That Changes Lives”

People make resolutions to start off the New Year, such as dieting, giving up smoking, saving money and making more money. As we begin 2017, a common resolution on the minds of many is to get a divorce.

Oftentimes, this “resolution” was made earlier in the year, but there was a decision, or even a discussion, to not do anything until after the holidays. 

Making the decision to end your marriage is the first step.  Then, there is the actual process.  The next step is to get yourself organized.  If you have access to records regarding your assets, liabilities and income, get them.  You should photocopy them and keep them somewhere safe.  (The safest place is in the home of a friend or somewhere your spouse does not have access.)  If you do not have access to that information, do not panic.  You will be able to obtain the information during the divorce process.

After you are organized, get legal advice from an attorney in the area in which you live.  Do not rely on the advice of friends and family.  In particular, do not rely on information about divorces on the internet.  There is a lot of misinformation on the internet.  Divorces and their outcomes tend to vary from person to person based upon their circumstances.  Get advice tailored to your circumstances.

Lastly, be reminded that you are not the only one in your divorce.  It involves your spouse, your children, your in-laws, your friends and neighbors.  You will find yourself in unfamiliar territory.  However, if you remember that you are making this resolution for a reason, you will manage your divorce with dignity, and soon find yourself on the other side.